I Remember

I always have such mixed feelings on September 11th.  Just like everyone else I know, I certainly remember exactly where I was when I heard the news.  I can still recall the feelings of devastation and insecurity that followed.  I remember Peter Jennings calmly talking me through the details.  He must have worked 22 hours a day for like a week.  I really appreciated him for that and was so sad to hear of his passing shortly there after.  But when these anniversaries roll around, I can never quite seem to find my voice.

It seems so many people want to make this day about nationalism, and sometimes even revenge.  I can understand how some people might feel anger, but that’s not my style.  I am generally anti-war and anti-violence.  I have conflicting feelings about the military.  It’s complicated.  That’s not to say that I don’t appreciate the brave men and women who sacrifice their energy and sometimes their lives to protect the grand ideals that I think this country can still stand for.  I do.  I am immensely grateful.  But at the same time, I often don’t agree with what they’re being asked to fight for.  I also know some people in the military who I don’t consider to be heroic.  I think it’s unfair to the people who serve with honor and dignity to give everyone in the military the blanket title of hero.  See why I don’t usually like to talk about this?  Like I keep saying.  It’s complicated.

When I think about the lives lost on this day 10 years ago, I feel an intense sadness.  But I also wonder about those terrorists who died.  What had they been through in their lives to make them think that killing thousands of innocent people was the right thing to do?  What must they have been through to be able to carry out such heinous acts?  And what should we be doing as a global society to help to ensure that such young men never feel those emotions again?  What can we be doing to erase hate and violence from our existence?  I’m sure I’m not doing enough.

A few years ago, I decided to start calling September 11th Tyler Waits Day.  Tyler is a former student/friend of mine.  (I hope he doesn’t mind me calling him that.)  His birthday is September 11th.  I feel like it serves the universe much better to celebrate people like Tyler and Alli and all of the amazing young people I worked with in the dance and theatre department at Putnam City West High School.  They are the ones who, through their art, their service, and their lives are going to change the world.  I got to know these kids pretty well, and I’m quite confident that they are working tirelessly to make the world a much cooler place.  I hope I taught them a little something about bringing more love into the world.  It’s really the only lesson I have to teach.  Choose life.  Live peace.  Create love.  Happy Tyler Waits Day!