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Tag Archives: Relationships

Way Behind

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I got so excited about working on awesomeon20.com yesterday, that I just now realized, well past noon, that I never wrote a post for yesterday. Here are my super fast 200 words about my life.

My life is not awesome.

I pretend that it is for the internet.

My life is pretty boring. Actually, I’m okay with that. I like things quiet. I’m an introvert who has no patience for small talk or rooms crowded with pretty and vapid people. If you have something interesting to say, I want to hear it. What is the point of being somewhere where you can’t hear anything. How did I get on this tangent? I have no idea.

I guess everything depends on your definition of awesome. My definition of awesome usually involves cheese, bacon, cocktails, lots of desserts, and people who are super cool to talk to. Sharing food, drinks, and conversation in a beautiful setting is probably my favorite thing.

I’ve been skyping with my offspring for the last hour, and I can’t remember what we were talking about well enough to finish the thought coherently. That’s the problem with tangents I suppose.

Anyway, I was preoccupied yesterday, and I forgot to write. Juggling two blogs is tricky. But I need to practice my writing regardless of whether or not anybody is reading it. Getting readers is not the point of this particular blog anyway.

I’m sorry I forgot you. I can’t promise it won’t happen again, but I will make it up to you.

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Gross

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The grossest thing today is me. I woke up looking like I’d been punched in the face. The dark circles under my eyes were scary. I started the day with a headache and cramps, and they’re with me to this very moment. I had a terrible time focusing at work, and wore jeans because I just couldn’t bring myself to put on a skirt. I’m sure I was completely useless.

Luckily, my husband was not useless. As soon as I got home, he hugged me and let me put on pajamas without looking at me like I was crazy. Then he went to the store to get dinner and came back with chocolate ice cream and flowers. Just because he knew I’d had a bad day. He let me lay on the couch and study food blogs all evening. I won the husband lottery.

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I was also a little grossed out by reading one blogger’s advertising page. I’m not sure if it was directed toward brands or other blogs, but she seemed to basically be selling the privilege of being mentioned by her on Facebook and Twitter. I guess if it’s for a brand it’s fine. I don’t know. It just seemed a bit weird to me.

This probably isn’t something I’ll ever have to worry about as I’ll probably never have enough readers to be sponsored or work with a brand anyway. I’d certainly like to make some money from all my hard work, but I don’t want to “sell out.” I’ve always had a bit of a hard time playing the game. It’s not time to worry about that yet anyway. My highest views for one day is only 57.

How to be Awesome on $20 a Day will be whatever it is. I’m going to keep working hard on it. I’m going to keep trying to let people know about it. I think we’ll be launching our self-hosted site way ahead of the September schedule. It could even happen by the end of the month. But whatever happens, I want to be proud of my work. That’s first. And that’s why I want people to read it.

Today my supervisor marveled at the fact that I never called in sick. I really didn’t want to be there today, but poor people can’t take sick days. She laughed when I told her that. The temptation is great, but I must resist.

My bed has been calling to me from the moment I left it. I must return.

Losing Already

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I have to write super fast because I didn’t post last night. We’ll see how long I can go before Geoff shouts at me about using technology. He’s on his phone, though, so I think I’m safe.

My camera baffled me yesterday, and didn’t take the photos I thought it would. I’m hoping this is because it thinks it’s smarter than me and tries to do things automatically. If I ever get a real camera, maybe I’ll be the boss. I just want the color that shows up on the screen before I press the button to be what the photo looks like. I can’t figure out why that doesn’t always happen. I don’t think it’s an unreasonable expectation. This is why I need a photography teacher.

I didn’t accomplish all the stuff on my list yesterday, which made me feel slightly less than awesome, but Geoff came home and seemed happy, especially after a half price frappuccino, so all was well with the world, and no further work was accomplished.

I bought myself some chalk at the craft store. I can’t wait to stick it in my hair. It’ll be just like high school only without all the mean cool kids.

The original Star Wars have officially been deemed better than the prequels by me, and you know mine is the only opinion that matters. A more obtuse script I can’t imagine.

It’s going to be interesting editing this later. Blogging from my phone is hilarious. But you deserve words that make sense.

Now it’s time for me to shut up so my husband doesn’t feel neglected.

My Husband Is a Hero

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I’m being super nit-picky about my blog design, whilst simultaneously doing nothing to make it better because I haven’t got the slightest clue how to design a blog. My husband kinda sorta does this for a living, so I’m trying to tell myself it’s a good learning experience, but really I think I’m probably just being a bitch. But I’m trying to be really nice about it.

In completely unrelated news, I had my first ever gel manicure today. It was completely dry in three minutes after the top coat was applied. This stuff is amazing. The lady cut my nails right down to the skin, which was pretty painful. I just want to go to a nail shop once without bleeding at some point. Is that really too much to ask?

I woke up feeling inexplicably anxious. I wish I knew a psychic or a witch or something who could tell me what the hell is going on in my mind that makes me unable to sleep. I’ve been feeling pretty good about things since rejecting my fear of failure in reference to going forward with the blog. I should be sleeping just fine. I’m not.

Full circle: I’m married to the coolest guy ever. I haven’t even been asking him to work on my blog, and yet I come home from getting my nails done, and he’s working on it. Not only that, but he’d already been to the grocery store and bought stuff for dinner, which he then cooked. And he had time to go for a run. I wish his energy was contagious. I got home and sat on the couch and read blogs.

Things will keep going up and up and up. They just have to.

All and Nothing

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It seems like I’ve accomplished practically nothing since getting home from work today. Except that I got to catch up with a very dear friend, which is actually about all there is to life. I mean, work is great, especially when it allows you to be creative and follow your passions, but connecting to other actual humans is sort of the whole point. I have so few friends, I really mustn’t neglect them.

Geoff practiced his cocktails tonight after filling out some tedious paperwork. I won’t say what it was about just yet, but we have our fingers crossed, though trying very hard to not hold our breaths.

I’m racking my brain trying to remember the rules for our Star Wars drinking game. We might have to make up a few for the Star Wars day post.

Now it’s time to let my mind wander into what next week’s posts will be about. I love getting suggestions from you. I’ve gotten a few great ideas from other people. If there’s something that I’ve made for you, or something about my life you’d like to know more about, please let me know. I have a backlog of ideas to pull from, but I’m constantly on the hunt for inspiration.

And can I rant about lipstick for a minute, please? I have this particular brand in mind because it’s supposed to be a good drug store fake out for something expensive I’ve had my eye on. I’ve been to two different Long’s and neither one even sold lipstick in this brand. How do you carry a brand of makeup and then not sell their lipstick? That’s just weird.

Geoff’s trying to buy a new video game online. I love him more than words can say. Especially when I can read my food blogs without feeling guilty about the silence.

We make a perfect couple.

L’ Anniversaire

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It’s nearly bedtime, and I have a delicious post planned for tomorrow. I just need to squeeze in a few quick words before reading by my miserable light until I either get bored or my eyes hurt too much to go on. I hear bloggers who are important sometimes get free stuff. Does fifteen readers a day get me enough clout for someone to send me a free book light? This is a serious problem.

Today was our anniversary. One year ago, we were quietly married in an completely unceremonious fashion. Think shuffling paperwork and a lot of Chinese. Literally. Pretty sure I wrote about this before.  Too lazy (aka tipsy) to give a link.

Two years ago, Geoff arrived in Taiwan back from England which he probably thought he’d never leave again.  Too bad I seduced him with my clever internet banter and made him fall in love with me via MSN instant messages. That fool will never be the same.

Also, I have exactly one year to plan my wedding. Your help will likely be required. Prepare yourself. I’m hoping we don’t see another repeat of today’s weather.

I love this man lying beside me more than I could possibly describe. I didn’t know what love actually felt like until I met him. I didn’t realize anybody could ever care this much about me. I had no idea it was even possible. My life has been forever changed and I wouldn’t take back a single moment of it. All of the things I had to go through to find him on the other side of the world were absolutely worth it. To be so completely understood, to be able to love somebody without having to wonder or worry, to know that I will always have somebody by my side who only wants the best for me is worth every tear-filled night I spent before I knew him. Two years feels like a whisper. I wish it could be a million.

All By Myself

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I’m home alone all day with something weighing heavily on my mind.  And yet, as it was something I allegedly said that caused the whole problem, I suppose I shouldn’t go in to too much detail.  But I can’t just sit here by myself and not say how I feel.  It’s not in my nature.

My husband is a very hard worker.  He tries so hard to please people and help whenever possible.  He doesn’t go out seeking conflict.  Quite the contrary.  He does everything he can to be friends with everyone he encounters.  He’s probably one of the friendliest people I know.  Put a person like this into an environment contrary to his nature, and it induces a great deal of stress.

We had such a lovely day yesterday.  The first day off we both shared since Christmas.  It reminded me of just why I love this guy so much.  He was more relaxed and happy than I’ve seen him in weeks.  It made me so happy to finally see him smiling and laughing easily.

And then something happens and all the stress is back.

Moreover, I really really hate it when people talk about me behind my back or try to use something that I said to hurt other people.  I really need for humanity to grow up.  I need for people to stop lying for their own gain.  I need for people to work hard at their job and live by the virtue of their own merit.    I need for people to do the right thing.    Then everything will be fine.

My needs are so simple.  If other people and their petty ambitions or whatever is motivating them to try to make things difficult for me would just mind their own business, things could all just go along nicely.

I love my husband, and I will do anything to make him happy.

Taking deep breaths.  Moving on.  Thanks for listening.