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Tag Archives: Cooking

How to Make a Cholesterol Sandwich

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Step 1: Wake up hungry, remember you have bacon in the fridge, turn to your husband and simply utter the word “bacon!”

Step 2: Make sure you have something to keep you occupied and out of the kitchen so as to avoid becoming a creepy annoying backseat chef.

Step 3: Fry up some bacon.

Step 4: Don’t forget the tea or coffee.

Step 5: Let you bacon drain on some paper towels. This is obviously Geoff’s bacon. You can still see some of the fat. I like to cook my bacon to within five seconds of incinerated. It has to be so crispy that I can’t feel the fat on my teeth. Then I can pretend like it’s not there and just enjoy the delciousness. Make sure you don’t drain out the bacon fat from the pan. You’re going to need that later.

Step 6: At some point, you should put some bread in the toaster. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you exactly when this happens. I’m in the living room pretending like there’s not someone messing about in my kitchen. You need to have two pieces ready, though, to put your eggs on, so make sure you have at least half of it made before you crack the first egg.

Step 7: This is where it gets really disgusting. The first time I saw Geoff’s egg frying method, I was seriously grossed out. And then I ate the sandwich and just swore to never watch him make them again. Remember all that bacon fat we held on to from earlier. Crack your egg right in to that. Gently splash some of the fat over the top of the egg to help the whites set up without having to flip the egg. Cook it in this manner until the whites are set but the yolk is delightfully sticky and runny.

Step 8: Once you put that egg in, things become critical. Upon cracking, call your wife in from the living room where she’s been deliberately avoiding you. Make sure you have some mayo spread on your toast. This serves two purposes. First, it taste good. Duh. Second, this thin layer of fat helps prevent that bacon grease from making your bread soggy.

Step 9: Spin around and get a hot fried egg placed on top of your mayo-slathered toast. Add some cheese, whatever you have in the fridge, and some super crispy bacon. Slather the other half of your toast with some more moisture-blocking mayo, and cover that baby up.

Step 10: Make sure you have some napkins because this will get messy. You will likely drip delicious egg yolk all over the place. For a second, you might think about how unhealthy it is, but with every bite, you’ll become increasingly euphoric and soon realize the potential heart attack might just be worth it. Seriously. This tastes so amazing. It’s even better because someone else does most of the work. I wish I was eating one right now.

Fry It!

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I just ate something amazing. Like fifteen minutes ago. It was so delicious and so easy, I just couldn’t wait to tell you about it.

I got this recipe from my idol Nigella Lawson’s book, Kitchen. I tell you, this woman is a genius. A beautiful, brilliant genius. She calls it rapid roastini. It is supposed to be reminiscent of roast potatoes, but it takes less than ten minutes to make, and that includes opening the package. The genius part is it’s actually fried gnocchi. They’re soft and fluffy on the inside and brown and crisp on the outside. We both loved them. This is a completely brilliant idea.

I used store bought gnocchi. If you want to make your own, be my guest. I’m way too lazy for that, especially on a Tuesday night. My package of gnocchi came with a little packet of parmesan and herbs. I couldn’t let it go to waste, so I tossed it in for the last couple minutes. This was an almost equally brilliant idea on my part. The cheese added some great flavor and got nice and crispy itself. Make this ASAP. You’ll want it every night.

Here’s how I did it. You’ll need:

2 Tbsp olive oil

1 package gnocchi (parmesan herb if you can find it)

Heat the oil over medium high heat in a large frying pan.

Add the gnocchi and make sure it’s spread out in the pan. Let it fry for 3-4 minutes, then flip ’em.

Cook the gnocchi for a few minutes on the other side, letting them get brown and crispy. Sprinkle the cheese over everything for the last minute or two.

Serve these puppies up, and prepare to be astonished.

 

I’m sure you never thought of frying gnocchi before. I hadn’t either. I did it because Nigella told me to, and she was so very right. If I was a good food blogger, I would have taken a fancy picture for you, but I was too busy scarfing these down to grab my camera. Maybe next time. When you try them, you’ll understand why.

When Life Gives You Lemons, Eat Ice Cream

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It’s been a bit rough around here lately.  There’s been an extra dose of stress, what with extra responsibilities at jobs and such.  Everybody feels down from time to time, but it’s nothing a walk on the beach can’t fix.

I started watching Downton Abbey.  I was already half way in love with it based on it’s reputation on NPR.  It’s been as deliciously stately as I had hoped.  Maggie Smith is brilliant.  I’m fascinated by the British servant class.  Upstairs isn’t half as interesting as downstairs.  I’m taking a little break to watch the second season of Modern Family since I only get it for a week from the library, but I can’t wait to get back to the world of the Downton Abbey kitchens.

Sunday, I made ice cream.  It broke my hand mixer, and I wanted to cry.  But the ice cream tasted freakin’ amazing.  You have got to got to got to make this.  You can get the recipe here.  Geoff thinks I should just go ahead and get a stand mixer.  Spending that much money makes me feel nauseous.  But I really want one.  I pet them when I walk past them in the store.  It’s a sickness.

And just in case I haven’t gushed about my awesome husband recently, I just need to say that he is by far the best husband anybody could ever have.  Yesterday I got off work early, so we had lunch together.  Then I walked down to meet him after work, and he decided that instead of going straight home, we should stroll through Waikiki.  It gets better.  “Let’s go to Ross and look at kitchen stuff,” he says.  Then he spotted a cute dress and bought it for me.  Then, he took me out for dinner and cocktails.  He rocks.  For reals.

I still sorta miss blogging every day, and yet I don’t actually find the energy each day to write something.  I guess it’s better this way.  Maybe I’ll do something exciting soon.  Maybe.

Well Deserved

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After five solid days of work through post-holiday, sans-Emily mild depression, I was so thrilled to come home on Saturday evening and hear that we’d been invited out to dinner.  I was just thinking earlier that day about how I never get to wear anything cute anymore.  That I hadn’t worn heels in probably a month.  I wanted an excuse to get a little dressed up, and going out to dinner was a good enough excuse for me.

We went to Kona Brewing Company in Hawaii Kai.  We had a table on the back lanai with a gorgeous view of the harbor and live music playing in the background.  The atmosphere was great, and the service was excellent.  Our server was friendly, knowledgeable and helpful.  But after that long week of work with depressing sales numbers from all those returns, I felt entitled to a cocktail.  And then I decided to have another one.  It was a ginger pomegranate martini, and it was delicious.  It was also $10.50.  I try to limit my spending to $20 a day.  Oops.  Luckily, Geoff was paying for this one.  Not that it matters because all of our money is in the same account.  Whatever.  I deserved it.

Geoff and I shared the pahoehoe spicy chicken pizza.  It featured ranch dressing as the sauce, chicken in buffalo sauce, fresh mozerella, a hit of blue cheese, and a generous drizzle of buffalo sauce over the whole thing.  It was fantastic.  I could have eaten it all.  But I restrained myself and was able to enjoy another piece for lunch the next time.  And I’m so glad I did because it was just as good the second day.  Everything was great, but if you go here, be prepared to spend a lot of money.  We ended up paying about $70 for that pizza and two drinks each.  I suppose that’s to be expected for what we got, but we don’t have the kind of jobs that make that sort of dinner easy.

On Sunday, we did something we have been wanting to do ever since we got here.  We grilled at the beach.  But before we could get there, we had to do some prep work.  While Geoff was at work Sunday morning, I went to the store and prepared southwest pasta salad, chocolate chip marshmallow cookie bars, and my own awesome burger patties for the picnic.  When Geoff came home, he put together the grill I bought him for Christmas.  It took a long time.  I can’t believe he got all of those piece to fit together and actually work.

After a lengthy search for parking, we found the perfect spot in the shade on the grass with a convenient cement circle for our grill.  We spread out our blankets, poured our ciders into discreet cups, and set to work on feasting. What is it about a picnic that makes time seem to slow down?  The weather was perfect.  The scenery was gorgeous.  We even got to watch some acrobats practicing some tricks on the grass.  Entertainment and all.  Food just tastes better somehow when eaten outside in the company of friends.  I think we should make this a regular thing.

Mele Kalikimaka

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Our first Christmas in Hawaii began before the sunlight was even discernible through the drapes.  I slept restlessly, stressing about the ugly cake I had made and the timing of dinner tomorrow.  A little after 6:00 am, I got up to use the bathroom, hoping to get another hour’s sleep, but my movements were quickly detected by the eager 11-year-old in the next room, and there was simply no going back to bed.  I went to lay down and chat with her in her room while we waited for Geoff to wake up.  Again, I hoped I could sneak in a bit of rest, but about five minutes later, Geoff came in looking for us, and said we could open presents.

Emily ended up with quite an impressive haul of pink stuff, including a pig ear-warmer knitted by Geoff’s mom, and those rad sunglasses.  She also got some makeup, a board game, some drawing supplies, a Kindle card, and a new video game.  Geoff got a soccer ball, a grill, some new flip flops, and the promise of whale watching when the season is at its height.  I got a Banana Republic gift card.  I’ve never ever been able to buy something from that store, and it’s been a favorite of mine for ages.  I can’t believe I’ll finally be able to walk out of there with actual clothes.  I also got a Nook.  Just the basic touch model, but still pretty awesome.  I couldn’t wait to buy a book.  As soon as I get a case for it, I can start taking it with me wherever I go.  My family rocks.

After presents and a breakfast of biscuits and gravy made by Lindsey, we decided to go for a little nature walk to the lighthouse at Makapu’u point.  Emily started coughing and got tired (bored?) halfway up, so I didn’t get to see the lighthouse, but there were still some gorgeous views on the way up.

Our next stop was the beach at Waimanalo.  The water was gorgeous and blue and crisply cold.  It’s also a bit rough in this area, so it doesn’t really lend itself to casual swimming.  But the sand is soft, and the view is spectacular.  We took advantage of what sun we could find.  Who ever thought I’d get a sunburn on Christmas day?

I had to sneak in a little nap before making dinner.  I would have become very cranky myself if I wasn’t able to get in a bit of sleep before three hours of solid cooking.  The crescent-wrapped brie was a hit with the waiting crowd.  Everything came out tasting pretty nice.  I was ridiculously full and exhausted by the end of the day.  We all laughed a lot, and I think everybody felt loved.  I think that’s the goal of the day.

I hope that your Christmas day was filled with love as well.

Remaking the List

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Yesterday was a sort of exciting day for me.  It’s the little things, people.  The Golden Globe nominations were announced, which means I spent way too much time updating my list, watching movie trailers, and trying to figure out where and how I could see all of these movies while spending the least amount of money possible.  I like movies.  I get excited about them.  Deal with it.

I was in a sort of lethargic and grumpy mood most of the day, and beyond household chores, I didn’t really get much else accomplished.  I did make some chocolate mousse and buy some Christmas presents for the child, so it wasn’t all bad, but I wasn’t feeling my usual day off serenity.  So let’s not talk about me.  Let’s talk about movies.  They’re awesomer.

The first movie on my list is The Descendants starring George Clooney.  He just keeps getting better and better.  I prefer quirky Clooney to political Clooney.  I think he’s sort of normal Clooney in this movie set in Hawaii about a dad with a sick/dead (?) wife who is trying to keep his rich family together on a beautiful beach.  At the very least, there will be lots of lovely things to look at.  I’m going to try to catch a matinee before work today, actually.

Next up is The Help.  I’ve obtained a copy of this film through stealthy and secret means.  (cough cough)  I have a tiny crush on Emma Stone, and Bryce Dallas Howard is brilliant.  Neither of them is nominated though.  I think all the nominations went to the black actresses in the film, and I haven’t seen it, but they probably should.  It is their story, after all.  I’ve heard great things about this film.  I’m looking forward to finding some time to sneak off and watch it.

The third and final film I’ll discuss today is Hugo.  I was all excited to go and see this while Emily was here.  It looked like a lovely and whimsical adventure.  Right up our alley.  I was a bit disappointed when she told me she’d already seen it, and even worse, it was just okay.  Well, I’m going to go see it anyway.  I mean, Scorcese and a magical mystery involving an orphaned British child.  Sounds pretty perfect to me.

Watching potentially award-winning films is one of my favorite parts of winter.  I had seen everything up to 2005, and was currently working through some 04 TV shows when the new noms came out.  I’m excited for some fresh blood.  I love stories.  I’ll never get enough.

What Saturday Used to Feel Like

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Tuesday night, we turned off our alarms.  I was so happy to hit the pillow.  I mean, my eyes weren’t even working.  And when Wednesday morning came, there was no annoying beeping waking me up.  We woke up when we were ready.  It was beautiful.  And to make it even better, there was bacon waiting in the kitchen.  Super bonus was, I didn’t have to cook it.  Geoff whipped up his excellent bacon egg and cheese sandwiches with coffee or hot chocolate, for those who think coffee is disgusting.  We ate in the back garden.  It may have started to lightly rain halfway through, but I didn’t let that stop me from enjoying this glorious morning with my husband in the sun.

We decided to walk to Ala Moana, which is always farther away than it seems when you first start out.  But I had recently decided to put my old divorce jeans in the Goodwill pile, reducing my jeans collection by 50%.  I recently read somewhere that Hilary Duff has over fifty pairs of jeans.  I thought I deserved at least two, so we hit up Old Navy, and I found a pair on clearance that Geoff said made my butt look sexy.  They were fourteen dollars, so I took them home.

By the time we walked back, we were hot and sweaty and a bit tired, but I was glad to have gotten the exercise.  I had another treat coming up, a fancy Aveda spa pedicure.  I so desperately needed this.  My feet were super disgusting, man.  Like you would not believe.  I’ve never had a pedicure from a pretty blond girl.  I’m sure that former prom queen was secretly thinking about how nasty my feet were and wishing that she spoke Vietnamese so that she could talk about me behind my back like they do in all the other nail shops.

For dinner, I made pancakes and Geoff cooked up the rest of the bacon from that morning.  Later he made jam tarts, and I ate way too many because they were so outrageously delicious.  It was a wonderful, beautiful day.  I got to spend almost the entire day with my man.  That guy is pretty awesome.  And I have the entire weekend off.  I think we’re throwing an all day Star Wars movie marathon party complete with drinking games.  Wanna come over?