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Tag Archives: Dance

Big Fat Liar

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I lied at the end of my last post. Not only did I write another post that day, but I didn’t write one the next day either. Okay, maybe lie is a bit harsh. I fully intended to write another post, but it just didn’t happen. I haven’t been feeling much like writing lately. Maybe it’s’ the heat. Maybe it’s having the kid around. I don’t know. I just haven’t been into it.

So, let’s talk Friday. I wrote about passion fruit green tea, which was my favorite drink in Taiwan. We managed to recreate it here. It’s pretty awesome.

Emily and I escaped to the beach for a little while. The tide was higher than usual, making the water deep and rough. It was fun, but a bit dangerous. We retreated to the shade of a palm tree, actually Emily wanted to be in the sun. We both had books, though, so we were happy. There was some decent cloud cover, so it was actually quite lovely outside.

I also sort of decided that I might maybe sort of audition for Cabaret next month at Diamond Head Theatre. I have to find a stupid “traditional” song to sing. I also have to track down some character shoes for cheap or free. I got rid of all my dance shoes when I moved to Taiwan, and I can’t afford to replace them. I don’t want to buy shoes and then have the wrong color. I also don’t want to assume that I will be cast. They’re only taking 8 to 10 Kit Kat Girls. Given my age and inexperience, and the fact that auditions are taking place over three days, I don’t think my chances are very good. Auditions make me nauseous.

Can I get my act together? Time will tell.


Friday Night and Saturday Morning

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We were quite boring last night. We tried a new burger place that was just okay and wandered around Barnes and Noble and Whole Foods, then past the movie theatre. I got to look at all the things that I love without actually buying anything. Maybe I should write a post for Awesome on 20 about how to treat the mall like a museum so that you can enjoy it without spending any money.

I’m about to go to the park and dance in public because I’m too cheap to spend money on dance class, and I hate “exercising”, so there aren’t a lot of options. I’m weird. Yes, I know. This is not news to me, and shouldn’t be to you either. People will see me. Who cares? They won’t ever see me again. I just pretend like they’re not there. Still, it could be a disaster.

Everybody on my Twitter feed (about ten people, actually) was in Orlando for a food blog conference. All day they were posting photos of themselves hanging out and eating treats and being mom jeans bloggery. I don’t think they’d let me sit at their table in the cafeteria. I think you have to have straight teeth and blown out hair to hang out with them. No tattooos and modest conservative clothes. And children or a dog. And probably a big fat wedding ring. If I ever get to go to one of these things,  no one would ever talk to me.

I bet none of them ever dance in the park.


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I’ve tried to quit so many times I’ve lost count. But something always drags me back. I can’t explain it. It’s really much too expensive of a habit for me to have acquired, but I just can’t stop myself.

I started a new dance class tonight. That makes two a week now. I started taking a contemporary jazz class back in September, and have now joined another one at Diamond Head Theatre. I think there’s only one other actual adult in the class. Everyone else seems to be sprightly, bendy teenagers. It was good for my body, though perhaps not so much for my mind. Why are adult classes so easy? Just because I can’t get down to the floor and back up as easily as I used to doesn’t mean I can’t handle a challenging bit of footwork. But I shouldn’t complain. It’s not as if I look all that hot.

Something crazy has happened to my arms in the three years I spent sitting on my couch. They were always my trouble spot. It seems that besides getting some strength back, this is the area that will need the most retraining.

The last time I was on stage. You get bonus points if you can tell which legs are mine.

The last time I was on stage. You get bonus points if you can tell which legs are mine.

People love to debate the existence of fate. Are we meant for a specific something? I can barely even remember my first dance classes, I was so young. Did I choose it, or is it what I was born for? Perhaps I never fulfilled my destiny. I certainly didn’t reach my potential. But every time I’ve tried to say, “No more,” I’ve always found myself somehow back in the studio without really knowing how I got there.

I’m considering auditioning for a show this summer. Has anybody done Legally Blonde? Does that show need dancers? Lord knows I won’t get in on my singing and acting. The chorus line is my home, anyway. The theatre is like my church, and the stage my sanctuary. Maybe it’s time to hang up the tap shoes. Or maybe it’s time to buy some new ones.

Days Gone By

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This year has been a bit, well, rough. A lot of things changed while a lot of things stayed the same. There were plenty of laughs, but also an abundance of frustration, which is something I could live without. It’s odd to be a woman in her mid-thirties (How did that happen?) and to have no idea what I want to do with my life. It makes one feel a bit lost.


Since we haven’t talked in a while, let’s catch up a bit. I had to quit my retail job in June because I was only getting about ten hours a week. Seems almost pointless. Unfortunately, I left just before I could get two new pairs of expensive shoes for free. Every woman knows this is a tragedy. I started temping, and so far it’s been pretty great. The people I’ve worked for are really nice, and for some reason always seem to be a bit astonished by how good my work is. I can’t figure out why. Currently I’m helping out at the Hawaii Food Bank, which has been nice. It’s rewarding to get to witness people’s generosity on a daily basis. If only my chair wasn’t so hard…

The wedding planning has been a series of disappointments with a couple of highlights. After finding the perfect dress, which was a bit over my budget, I have been shut down by almost everything else I wanted to buy. The caterers seem competent, and I expect the food will be pretty good, though not as excellent as I would have liked had I been a rich girl. They’re giving us a really good deal, but still haven’t told me how much it will cost. He said it shouldn’t be a problem to be within my budget. I hope he remembers. At the moment, we have no one to actually marry us, as our officiant cancelled. That’s one thing I can’t just do myself.  Many hopes have been dashed. Expect this wedding to be tacky and low-class. Or should I say, minimalist. Why did I want to have a wedding again?


By far, I’d guess Geoff’s favorite part of the year has been getting the chickens. He loves those girls. He buys them treats, and cuddles them and lets them sit on his lap. It’s pretty freakin’ adorable. They haven’t started laying eggs yet, but it should be soon. I’m pretty ridiculously excited about it.

I’ve also tried a bunch of different dance classes over the past few months. After my abysmal failure at aerial silks, I thought a nice jazz class might be a bit more inspiring. Some friends asked me to take a samba class with them. It’s a bit tricky trying to find the right class and the right teacher for someone in my situation. As someone who’s been a dance teacher, it’s hard not to think about how I would teach the class differently or better. As somebody who’s an experienced, but well past her prime dancer, it’s hard to find the right level that is gentle on my old body, but not boring. I’m still searching for the right combination. But I know one thing. It feels absolutely splendid to be moving again.


I’m not remotely wistful about saying goodbye to 2012. I’m ready to move forward. To move on. To move into something new. I count myself lucky to be loved by such a wonderful man, and live in such a beautiful place, but there’s more to come. There has to be.

So What Does One Wear to a Samba Event at a Pool Hall?

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I have to admit, I was exceedingly skeptical about this fundraiser that Geoff had gotten us tickets for.  One of his zoo wives was going to be performing at a samba and capoeira demonstration, and he bought tickets early, so we had no choice.  After a relaxing morning home alone and an afternoon of lunch and shopping in Waikiki (this is not as glamorous as it sounds, it was Subway and Ross) we had a glorious nap.  It was the deepest sleep I can remember experiencing in a long time.  When I woke up, the thought of going out was not at the top of my list.

But we decided to carpool with some of the other zoo wives, and I found something to wear, and we headed out the door.  The first thing we did was order drinks, which makes everything more fun, and then I had a cookie.  Off to a good start so far.  The show was interesting, Lindsey won a Brazillian bikini, and there was a waitress who kept us from fighting our way back to the bar.  I tried to learn the samba and failed.  Geoff eventually won at pool.  By far my favorite part of the night was talking with people who I feel might actually be becoming my friends.  It was nice to be able to share conversation and laughs without feeling any pressure to be normal.  When you’ve always been the weird girl, that’s an important moment.

We ended the night with everybody eating ice cream in the living room straight out of the container.  I’d say that’s pretty much the best way to end any night.  If only all evenings could end in Ben and Jerry’s.  Now that’s a dream.  We’re forming a family here.  I like it.

Wasting Away

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Up until I turned 21, I danced probably six hours a day.  During my senior year in high school, I was on two dance teams, took and taught studio classes, and did two plays.  My body was moving in extraordinary ways on a pretty regular basis.  I was in excellent shape, even though I ate terrible food all the time.  I never had to think a second about my weight.

After my daughter was born, I was no longer able to keep up the pace. I danced a few hours each day while finishing my degree, but never again at the level that I was at before.  Then once I graduated, I mostly just taught dance and only performed occasionally.  When we left Oklahoma, my opportunities to dance nearly disappeared.  I taught some beginner classes to girls not remotely interested in dancing and did a couple of shows that were fun but didn’t really include any strenuous dancing.  I took Tae Kwon Do for a while and later ballroom dance.  I tried to stay active, but it wasn’t easy.

And then once I moved to Taiwan, the only exercise I managed was long walks through the city, and the occasional hike.  It’s hard to take dance lessons in a language you don’t understand.

The point of all this rambling is that I’m still really sore today from riding horses.  Sometimes I miss being sore.  I miss pushing my body to its limits.  I am seriously out of shape.  I get tired walking up a hill.  The problem is, I loathe exercise for exercise’s sake.  I can’t stand the idea of going to the gym, or jogging.  If exercise isn’t a natural part of something interesting and enjoyable, it’s just torture to me.  I have absolutely no interest.  I am not so fat as to bring on the desperation that would be required for me to get on a treadmill.  And you know I’m not going on a diet.

So what’s the conclusion?  I guess there isn’t one.  Sonny beat me up on Sunday.  I need to find something else that will beat me up.  Preferably something free or extremely low cost.  Any suggestions?


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What?  It’s Sunday already?  Surely not.  How did that happen?

We promised ourselves that we’d take Sunday off and spend it doing something fun.  I think we’ve earned it.  It’s been a hectic and stressful week.  In fact, this time a week ago, we were still finishing packing up our apartment in Taiwan.  Did that blow your mind?  It did for me.  So after a full week of packing, moving, working, walking, and calling, we took one day just for ourselves before we head back to our respective tasks tomorrow.

We started our day with a drive up to Manoa Falls trail head.  I discovered that it only takes about two dollars to fill up my scooter, which was pretty spectacular.  I’ve decided that driving a scooter is the only way to go.  When driving through scenic roads up tropical mountains past gorgeous homes, who wants to have their view constricted by a car?  I don’t know why so many people bother with them here, especially because parking is such a pain.  I have to say, I was amazed by the views while simply driving to the trail.

The actual hike up to the waterfall was pretty spectacular as well.  It starts our fairly wide and flat, but gets narrower, rockier, and more slippery the higher you go.  There were gorgeous trees towering above us on either side.  It was so interesting to think about how few people had probably walked there just two hundred years ago.  The waterfall itself is beautiful, but you can’t get too close.  After a landslide a few years back, they now have a wire that keeps people well away.  It was completely worth the hike up, and the slightly treacherous hike back down.  And extra cool that we spotted a white cockatoo perched in a tree along the road just outside the parking lot.  Actually, we heard him first.  I wonder if he really lives there or if he’s someone’s escaped pet.

After washing the mud off of our legs and changing clothes, we grabbed lunch and headed into Kapiolani Park for the annual Na Hula festival.  I wanted to see some of the dancing I remembered from my childhood.  I was amazed that I actually recognized some of the songs.  In the heat of the day, it was hard to stay for very long, but I enjoyed watching them perform for the short time we were there.

During the hottest part of the day, what else is there to do in Waikiki on a Sunday afternoon than swim in the sea?  We followed our dip with a walk all the way down the beach to the west, turning around only when we hit a residential street.  We walked back through the park, scoping out the best places for a BBQ picnic next weekend.  We also walked along the back gate of the zoo and managed to see the head of a giraffe poking out over the fence.  How often does that happen?  Not a bad Sunday, in my opinion.