I woke up feeling better, but not entirely well. The guilt remained, though. I pretty much ruined the weekend for my hard working husband. We didn’t make it any further from the house than Safeway. Luckily, he found a video game to divert him from his pauper’s despair. It’s not looking good.
But I don’t want to talk about hardship. This year has been a definite aberration, and I’m sure everybody knows how difficult those can be to recover from and how long and endless it may seem. Things are uncertain, and that makes life difficult. Humans hate insecurity. It’s frightening.
But here’s what’s awesome. My baby is coming to stay for a month, and I’m going to enjoy every minute of it. When I told her how excited we were for her to come but that we were very poor right now, she replied with “Mommy, you don’t need money to have fun.” What an amazing child.
I have a partner in this life, and that is something I should never take for granted. I know there’s a better to our worse and that this marriage is unshakable. Whatever else happens, we have each other, and what else is there, really?
The beach is free. The library is free. The grocery store, alas, is not, but we’re probably going to bake together anyway. I get so little time to spend with my daughter. I don’t want to waste any of our moments worrying. If you get what you give, I’m going to try to give a lot of love and see what comes back.