Let’s get the weird stuff out of the way first.
At this exact moment, somebody at the park is blaring horrible 80’s music. This is not what I want to be hearing in my bedroom when I’m trying to relax on a Thursday evening. Sometimes I wish I lived in the middle of nowhere. Or that I could just tell the whole world to shut up for a hot minute.
Also, every time I use/hear the word “confessing” I think of the Like a Virgin scene from Moulin Rouge. Isn’t Jim Broadbent spectacular?
So, not long after finishing my post last night, I put down my book, looked my husband in the eye, and said out loud that I really want to try to have a successful blog. I work in exactly the opposite way from him when it comes to blogging about personal feelings. He doesn’t know how he feels until he starts writing. I can’t bring myself to tell the world until I’ve said things out loud to him.
Ever since we moved here, I’ve been floundering. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. This is the first time I’ve really been excited about something. I feel like I know what I want to do with myself now. So what if it doesn’t make money? I have a job, but it’s not my life. It doesn’t have to define me. I’m proud to be doing the work I do now, but who knows how long that will last.
Being a blogger doesn’t involve a huge financial investment like baking does. I can put in a little bit of money at a time, nothing too crazy. Maybe someday I’ll get a free product, or a free dinner. Maybe I’ll get five bucks in ad revenue. Who cares? I’d like to be successful, but more because I just have to be good at things. I think I could learn to be good at this, and I’m going to do it.
Maybe this doesn’t come as a shock to you. I’ve been thinking out loud about this for ages. But last night, I declared my feelings. I have a goal, and I’m excited about it. I’m not going to be ashamed or embarrassed. I’m going to work my butt off and make it real. It’s something I feel like I can legitimately accomplish.
Wow, that was excessive. I’m so glad this space is here for me to just ramble. It’s what I do best.