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If I Was a Blogger

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I subscribed to blog lovin‘ this morning since stupid google reader is disappearing. I have about half a million food blogs to keep track of these days. What does Google think they’re playing at? But I think this new solution should work well enough.

Reviewing all those blogs, though, only makes me wish I was a blogger. It is the perfect career. I mean, all bloggers seem to have perfect hair and perfect teeth and enormous sunlit kitchens. They’re always shopping and getting free food and free vacations. And all they have to do is write about how perfect everything is and how you should want to be just like them. Well, it’s working. I want to be one of them.

Can you imagine if someone as intensely flawed as me became a blogger? Who in their right mind would ever want to follow my advice, make my food, or live my life? Still, it would be a pretty fantastic job. I love writing and free stuff. I wonder what my oh so chic and charming blog would be about. If only I knew something everybody else didn’t. If only I could make myself into an interesting and awesome brand. Perhaps a blog about how to be poor and boring? How to go your whole life without eating fruits and vegetables? Maybe about movies you’ve already seen and books you’ve already read?

Um... Kayaking is awesome. You should do that. Yeah.

Um… Kayaking is awesome. You should do that. Yeah.

If I was cool, if I had an interesting aesthetic, if I was unique, I’d do it. I think you have to have a baby and/or a dog to qualify, though. Also, a sort of richish husband. They only send you free stuff if you don’t really need it. The next time I hear a blogger complaining about how tough their life is having long lunches with their friends and eating cupcakes every day, I’m going to throw rocks at them. I’ll trade you in a second.

Alas, I don’t have perfect teeth and hair, and though I quite like my life, I know nobody else out there would listen to me. “How to Be Awesome on $20 a Day” will have to be written by someone else, I suppose. But if you know anybody who wants to send me free stuff, feel free to give them my address.


About Renee

Life should be awesome, even if your paycheck isn't. I'm trying to live awesomely on $20 a day.

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