I’m nearly past the point of no return. There is no turning back now. We absolutely positively have to go forward with the wedding, since we bought and printed invitations today.
We paid $30 for a lovely set of printable invitations that included reply cards. They were elegant and simple, and Geoff helped pick them out, so hopefully they’re not too girly. I finally found something I like that was under my budget, which was a tremendous relief. I’ll spend tomorrow addressing the envelopes and then mail them out on Monday. Then hopefully people will actually show up.
It’s been a stressful and humbling process, this wedding planning. Ninety percent of the time, I’m a pretty laid back person, but thinking about throwing a big party for everyone I know has spiked my anxiety on several occasions. I have a bit more sympathy for those girls who freak out and scream at people, but just a bit. I will admit to nearly breaking out in tears in the middle of Safeway while discussing flowers.
There have been several moments when I’ve thought to myself “This is stupid. I don’t deserve this, and I can’t afford it. Do I really want all these people looking at me anyway?” Between being short on funds and crucial people pulling out recently, I wasn’t sure we could even make it happen if we wanted to.
But I’m madly in love, damn it. I want everyone I know to see how happy I am. I wish I could buy a cheeseburger for everybody I’ve ever been friends with so they can witness what a wonderful man I’m married to. Plus, I love to feast and celebrate, and what greater cause could there be than love?
So we’re really doing this. It’s actually going to happen. After three years together, and two years after filing marriage papers on my lunch break in Taiwan, I’m going to put on a fancy dress, hope my man is impressed, and stand in front of a bunch of people and swear to give him all of me forever. Rain or shine, without a penny to my name, I love this man. That’s something people should witness.