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All By Myself

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I’m home alone all day with something weighing heavily on my mind.  And yet, as it was something I allegedly said that caused the whole problem, I suppose I shouldn’t go in to too much detail.  But I can’t just sit here by myself and not say how I feel.  It’s not in my nature.

My husband is a very hard worker.  He tries so hard to please people and help whenever possible.  He doesn’t go out seeking conflict.  Quite the contrary.  He does everything he can to be friends with everyone he encounters.  He’s probably one of the friendliest people I know.  Put a person like this into an environment contrary to his nature, and it induces a great deal of stress.

We had such a lovely day yesterday.  The first day off we both shared since Christmas.  It reminded me of just why I love this guy so much.  He was more relaxed and happy than I’ve seen him in weeks.  It made me so happy to finally see him smiling and laughing easily.

And then something happens and all the stress is back.

Moreover, I really really hate it when people talk about me behind my back or try to use something that I said to hurt other people.  I really need for humanity to grow up.  I need for people to stop lying for their own gain.  I need for people to work hard at their job and live by the virtue of their own merit.    I need for people to do the right thing.    Then everything will be fine.

My needs are so simple.  If other people and their petty ambitions or whatever is motivating them to try to make things difficult for me would just mind their own business, things could all just go along nicely.

I love my husband, and I will do anything to make him happy.

Taking deep breaths.  Moving on.  Thanks for listening.


About Renee

Life should be awesome, even if your paycheck isn't. I'm trying to live awesomely on $20 a day.

13 responses »

  1. Why do you think the problem is outside of yourself?

  2. You make him smile more than anyone in the world Renee. You were made for each other! P.S. You’re awesome!

    • Thanks, Gaz! You’re pretty awesome yourself. When somebody messes with my husband, I get fierce. I don’t understand how some people can be so petty and mean.

  3. Do you Really want to know? Or do you just need to rent?

    • I’m assuming you mean vent? I thought the content of my post made it obvious that I needed to vent? It seems that you’re just dying to tell me how you are better than me, though, so feel free.

  4. I’ve been down your road, just thought I’d save you a headache or two. However, I see you’d rather rip my face off, so I will quietly back out.
    Blessings be with you along the path you follow.

    • Rip your face off? That seems a bit ridiculous. You posted on my blog implying that someone telling lies about my husband and trying to get him fired was somehow my fault. I’m curious to know how that could possibly be and why you would know this based on 300 words. I take offense to the idea that I would do something to hurt my husband. So, how was it that you caused someone to cause your spouse so much grief and stress and make someone tell lies about the person you love? Based on your profile, you seem like a very gentle person, but your tone of superiority isn’t putting me in a gentle mood. I apologize for mine, but I’m already angry about this situation, and you telling me it’s all my fault isn’t helping. I generally try to take responsibility for my actions, sometimes even when it is not necessary. If you’d truly like to be helpful, please do.

  5. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. There’s so much sufferring in the world, it just drives me crazy. Everybody’s learning curve is different. Look at what makes Free Will special.

  6. It’s not about blame. An awareness of what is… is an awareness without judgment. The person that created the lie, did so out of their own insecurities. His motive for dishonesty really had nothing to do with you or your husband.
    My guidence tells me over and over that your still hot and angery about this “lie”, and it won’t matter what I do or say, to help you shift out of that mess. So we will come back to this another time.

    • You’re right. I was still angry. There are very few things that really get me riled up, but dishonesty is one of them. We’ve learned since this incident began that everybody knows Mr. Liar is just spreading negativity for his own gain, and the after-effects of his words are minimal at best. This makes the situation much easier to deal with. Remove said poison person from our lives to the greatest extent possible and let him live in his own mess. He can’t be reasoned with. I wish he could. Just ignore it and move on. Thanks for your concern.

  7. One other thing I wanted to share. When ever we confront someone about anything, if they have an emotional charge around it; an emotional reaction to our implication, then we’ve hit the nail on the head, and we know the truth of it all. If there is no reaction, then there is no truth in what we imply.
    If you ever get the chance to hear Eckhart Tolle give a talk, he’ll tell you a LOT more on this subject.
    Gentle blessings be with you and yours, along the path you follow.

    • Oh dear. It appears we just can’t seem to find harmony. I hope things work well for you. I hope you are able to refine your approach when giving strangers unsolicited advice. I tend to find that when people are attacked, their natural reaction is to defend themselves. I think you’ll find that true of most species.


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