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My Series of Unfortunate Events

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It started out as a nice normal morning.  I did the laundry and the dishes and took a shower.  Everything perfectly normal, easy, and relaxing.  At about 10:20, I remembered I had to go to the bank for a verification letter.  So I got dressed in my skinny jeans and a nice t-shirt to wear for my first shift at Magnolia, grabbed my purse, and walked around the corner to Safeway.

At the bank inside Safeway, they told me I’d have to go to the main branch down the road because they didn’t have the correct paperwork there.  This was slightly annoying, but not the end of the world.  I went to check the time to see if I could make it there and still have time to do my hair and makeup before I needed to leave to make my 11:30 appointment for my drug test.  This was when I realized I forgot my phone.  I checked the time on my iPod, decided I didn’t have enough time, bought a vitamin water, and went home.

As I walked up to my door, I opened my bag to take out my keys.  They weren’t there.  I remembered being so proud of myself for finally remembering to lock the back door after doing the laundry.  I was locked out with no keys and no phone.  This means I had to walk for half an hour, go to the front of the zoo, and ask the nice old lady at the ticket counter to try to call my husband so I could get a house key.  She let me in, and I tried to find my way back to his office.  I felt horrible for interrupting him at work and embarrassed at my own stupidity.

I got the key from my extremely loving and understanding husband, walked back home again (in skinny jeans) and got inside my house.  At this point it was already ten minutes past my appointment time for my drug test.  This is making me seem so irresponsible on my first day at a new job.  I threw my makeup, deodorant, Island Sole shirt, and paperwork in a backpack, unlocked the back door, and set off as quickly as possible.

When I arrived at the drug testing lab, I was drenched in sweat.  I was also completely dehydrated.  Luckily, they still let me do the test, even though I was a half hour late.  It wasn’t easy to produce what they needed as I was so dehydrated from all the walking I had just done.  I somehow managed it and got out of there.  I went in to Magnolia and put my makeup on and fixed my hair in the back.  I decided that even with the body spray I put on, I was just too smelly for work.  So with 20 minutes to spare, I bought a new top, grabbed a burrito, and made it back to Magnolia five minutes before the start of my first shift.

It was moderately busy during my first shift at Magnolia, so I was on my feet quite a bit.  I left at 5, found something to eat, changed clothes and freshened up, then decided to go in to Island Sole a half hour early since I didn’t have anything to do.  I took in a ton of new information over the next four hours.  I managed to sit down for about two minutes during this time.  My brain was reeling and my feet were throbbing.  Finally, at 9:45, I clocked out and left work.

This is when the real fun began.  Ever since my scooter got knocked over, the ignition has been fidgety.  You have to turn the handlebars all the way to the left, or the key won’t go in.  I did that, only this time, the steering column had locked, and the handlebars wouldn’t turn back.  They were completely stuck.  I tried fiddling with the key a million times.  Finally, I had to admit that it wasn’t going to work.  I had to leave the scooter and walk home.  Luckily, my loving and understanding husband met me halfway and kept me from falling down.  My feet have never hurt this much before.  I can still feel them throbbing this morning.  This was definitely in the top ten of worst days ever.

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About Renee

Life should be awesome, even if your paycheck isn't. I'm trying to live awesomely on $20 a day.

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