Yesterday was my last weekday off work. Monday morning, I’m back at it, though with a significantly lighter schedule. This has it’s good points and it’s bad points. Now that I think of it, the good and bad are really the same. There’s less work to do. Not as much stress from planning so many lessons, but way more time with potentially nothing to do. Or possibly having a lot of things to do but not being able to do them because I’m stuck at my desk doing nothing. But at least I’m getting paid for it.
The tight band around my chest has begun to loosen a bit, but the writhing in my stomach has yet to subside. My bowels are letting me know that all is not right with the world. After talking to a few family members, I now know that I have people behind me who will do anything in their power to help us get where we need to go. This has been an immense relief. We also had dinner with our wonderful friend Gill last night who let us talk ourselves out about the stress we’ve been feeling over the past few days. I don’t know exactly how that works psychologically, but just being able to tell someone about it made me feel lighter. I’m so grateful to her for listening.
If you’ve been reading this blog at all, you’ll know I’m a very emotional person. It’s hard for me not to take it personally when the immigration officer denies me something I so desperately want. I comprehend that it is his job to be impersonal, but to me, it just feels so much like cruelty. Why should he be trying to hurt me? Why should he try to keep my husband from getting his dream job? I don’t see how someone could be so uncaring.
I plan to enjoy a quiet weekend at home. If I’m going to have a pre-final movie Harry Potter marathon, I’ll need to get started with a double feature today. I hope my friends will remind me to bring tissues. I almost cry just watching the trailer. My Harry Potter books and my Nigella cookbook are two things that I know I absolutely cannot leave behind. If you want any of my other stuff, though, call dibs now. I’m leaving August 2nd. Immigration will just have to get with it.