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Disappointment

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For a full six months we’ve been gathering documents from around the world and shelling out money.  We’ve jumped through more hoops than a circus poodle.  Everything we’ve been through has all been leading up to today.  Geoff’s green card interview was this morning.

We arrived outside the AIT office at 7:30 and were ushered inside past the huge line of people waiting for tourist visas.  I always feel a little bit guilty about that.  We marched up to the third floor and got in line to hand in Geoff’s passport and appointment letter so that we could wait around to hand in more documents.  It took about an hour before we were called back to the window.  We must have given them ten different pieces of paper.  They even asked me to write a statement saying I intended to move to Hawaii, since I wasn’t able to open a bank account as proof.  We paid our 12,000 NT and waited another hour to be called to another window by the interviewer. He told us that everything was in order except…

He said it like it was no big deal.  Like it wasn’t our entire future that he was ruining.  Like we hadn’t been dreaming every day for a year of moving to Hawaii.  Why would a couple apply for a green card, go through all of this hassle, pay all of this money without the intention of moving back to America?  If we were just going for a short visit, we wouldn’t need it.  On the information sheet that the interviewer gave us, it says that the interviewer has the ability to use his discretion to establish intent of domicile, but he chose not to believe in us.  He chose to make us continue to grovel.  To make us jump through more hoops.

So as soon as we can come up with some evidence, we have to go BACK to Taipei and hand it in.  Then they take Geoff’s passport and in two days, he has the visa.  My constant lurking on Craigslist and hours filling out job applications aren’t on the list. My one way ticket is not on the list.  It’s practically impossible to get a teaching job from outside the country.  It’s definitely impossible to get an apartment.  I’ve been trying for weeks to get a bank account.  My father went MIA when I really needed his help so that I wasn’t able to finally find out that I couldn’t apply online until a few days before the interview.  So now I’ve set my alarm for 2 am so that I can call the bank in Hawaii and beg them to let me open a bank account from Taiwan.  And if we can’t do that, then I have to go to Hawaii by myself ahead of him to find an apartment.  I get really anxious on my own, and Geoff hates to fly and does better when I’m with him.  The whole point of getting married here was so that we wouldn’t have to be separated.  We’re just better together.

I feel so disheartened.  So discouraged.  I’m confident that we’ll be able to figure out some way to establish domicile, but Geoff might be finally getting that job offer soon, as he’s told a little fib about being approved.  If they want him to start right away, I might have to quit my job, forfeit the money I would make this month, and go to Hawaii by myself to try to get an apartment without a job.  How the hell am I supposed to do that?

This has been an immense and rambling post.  I needed to get all of these things off my chest.  I’ve been feeling increasingly depressed all day.  Our dream hangs in the balance because of one small thing I was unable to accomplish.  It’s all my fault.  I’m annoyed with my father for not being there to help me out.  I’m frustrated with the interviewer for not granting me something that was well within his power.  My spirit is crushed today.

I did discover when I came home that one of the major private schools in Hawaii, The Kamehameha School, is looking for an English teacher.  I think they try to cater to Hawaiians as much as possible, so I don’t know how good my chances are with my blonde hair, but I’ve filled out the application, so all I can do now is wait.  I’m sick of my life depending on the whims of other people.  I’m hoping tomorrow will be a better day.

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About Renee

Life should be awesome, even if your paycheck isn't. I'm trying to live awesomely on $20 a day.

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