Yesterday was another anxiety-ridden day. I went in for my second interview with Island Sole at 1:00. I had originally thought that it would be just a formality. My first interview with the manager left me with the impression that I pretty much had the job. But my second interview with someone from the corporate office was still pretty formal. She took notes, and told me she would be checking my references, and that if I was offered the position, I’d have to take a drug test first. All this to sell flip flops at the mall. It seems to me that some people take themselves way too seriously. So, I’m not entirely sure that I’ll be getting that job anymore. If I do get it, they’ll give me very basic health insurance, though, so that’s a big benefit.
When I got to work at Magnolia, I saw the new schedule had been posted. I work the same hours every week, so that’s nice. The down side is that I work 3-9 every Saturday for the next five weeks. Meanwhile, my husband is taking a class every Saturday from 8-12, which means there’s almost no way for us to do something together on Saturday. As of now, I have Sundays off, but if I start a second job, I might have to work Sundays as well.
I also started thinking about the possibility of Maggie giving me more responsibilities and making me manager. Will it mean I’ll have to be there seven days a week? Eventually, I’ll have to quit one, or both of these jobs. I have a deep sense of loyalty, and I hate letting people down. But I don’t want to be trapped. But I really need the work. But I don’t want to put too much strain on my marriage by never being available. I know how my husband treasures his weekends. I don’t mind working odd hours, but I also want to spend time with my husband and be there when he needs me.
Hence, the anxiety. I am not cut out for the real world. These are petty problems, I realize. But it’s all very real and of dire importance in my reality. I made it all go away last night, though, by coming home and making dinner. Thanks to some help with prep work by my most excellent sous chef, I threw together some buffalo chicken tacos. They were amazingly delicious. The glass of wine, courtesy of the Honolulu zoo, was nice as well. Make them, you’ll see. I think I can make it all work, this life. I just need some time to get used to it and find ways to make sure that the things that are most important to me don’t get neglected. C’est la vie.
Coming home to find this was pretty awesome as well.